Amy's thoughts

Update

2009-07-03T09:08:00.002-05:00

My nephew's test results were all clear. He is doing great now. Oldest niece goes to court August 18th. She never comes around much. The others are good. Nothing much going on with them. I am trying to quit drinking. I'm taking it day by day. I guess thats about it.
By the way, thanks Sherry.

A downward spiral

2009-06-14T09:04:00.003-05:00

Otherwise known as my journey into darkness...
Helloooooo is anybody still out there?? It's been forever since I've written. Point of this post is to get some crap off my mind. May 6, 2008 I had gastric bypass surgery-yes I was WAY overweight. To the point of stroke & heart attack level. I did it for health reasons, not because I cared about being fat. Anyway, I have lost +170 lbs. Great, right? The problem is being the fat kid was my identity, so now that I don't have the weight I feel like I've lost my identity. Stupid, I know but welcome to my world! I've found myself on a path of self-destruction. I had to give up sweets, sodas, bread & pasta unfortunately I replaced those with vodka. My drinking is out of control. I know I need to stop but I can't. Things have been wicked crazy. I should be doing great, I have a new body & a new lease on life. Guys are actually looking at me and not being disgusted with what they see. Which brings up another issue-they didn't want me when I was fat so they can't have me now. Makes them seem shallow if they only concerned with appearance. There are 3 guys at work that have always treated me good, other than that, they are all shallow pigs. On to my other issues-my crush that I've been pining over for 3 years forgot to mention that he is still married. I found it out the hard way. Very heartbreaking. My oldest niece who is 19 got into some trouble and may have to serve jail time. I'm scared for her because I've seen what jail can do to a person. I think she needs to learn her lesson but I don't think she can survive in jail. I'm torn emotionally about this. She's a spoiled brat who only thinks of herself but still, she's my niece and I love her. Next-my nephew, 15 has been having seizures and faintnig spells. He's been having to undergo all kinds of tests. They are afraid he might have a brain tumor. We are hoping that isn't the case. 2 of the nieces are now 16 and driving! How old do I feel!? The nephew is almost 16 and already has a car. It's a wicked cool convertible. The youngest one, my baby bop is 11 and hitting puberty. She told me the other day her mom is going to teach her how to shave her legs. I almost cried. I'll be 40 in August and still single. My damn hormones are out of control. I'm really stressed!!!
So, if any of my old buds are still out there, please write. I've had computer issues and lost all my blog addresses.
Thanks for listening

It's been a while

2007-09-08T20:28:00.000-05:00

Sorry I kind of just disappeared from blog world. How is everyone? Hope things are well.
A lot has been going on around here but I won't bore you with most of it.
Main points of interest:
I got a new vehicle. It's a Honda Passport and is way cool.
I got a new job. Same place just different office. That promotion I mentioned last year? The job became available again so I put in for it. To my surprise I got it! I have my own office which is great! I'm pretty far away from my buddies which is not so great. Most of them have came to visit though. I don't have to share an office with someone who complains about how cold I keep the office! My office is connected to the Business Office and the women in there think I keep my office too cold. So I don't have one person complaining, I have three of them. No biggie though, they don't have to come in my office and they can close the connecting door. I'm not too fond of my new co-workers. I don't really fit in to their little clique and I'm not changing my behaviour just to be included. They've known me for over a year if they don't like me then they never will!
I got a new crush. Gave up on the other one. Too much drama with him. The worst part is I still like him a lot and miss him. We don't hang out like we used too. I thought we had been pretty good friends but something happened ( I have no clue what) and now he doesn't even want to be friends. The new crush is very cool. He works nights so I don't get to see him very often. Sounds weird but I think that is a good thing. Keeps the mystery there. If we hardly see one another it will make it more difficult for us to get tired of each other, right? Okay so maybe I'm just trying to fill the void the other one left but I had to do something!!
I guess that's it. I don't even know if anyone still comes over here. If you do, let me know how things are.

Why be normal??

2007-07-29T13:39:00.000-05:00

Yes, they will kill me when they see this.

2007-07-04T07:20:00.001-05:00

Courtesy of MsTags.com

Finally got new pics of all the kids:

2007-06-17T17:13:00.000-05:00

Ariel-The almost 18 yr old:

Haley-The almost 15 yr old:

Amber-The just turned 14 yr old:

Kevin-The almost 14 yr old:

Rachel-The 9 yr old:

2007-06-17T08:21:00.001-05:00

WwW.SparkleTags.Com

2007-05-28T07:25:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of SparkleTags.com

2007-05-13T08:32:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of SparkleTags.com

Happy Birthday today to....

2007-04-20T06:41:00.000-05:00

...My brother's youngest, Amber. She is 14 today. We had her party last night, everyone had fun.

I messed up!

2007-04-13T17:29:00.000-05:00

While playing around and trying out new things, I accidentally lost my old template (including all my links). Hopefully I can recover everything soon. :^(
On a positive note, doesn't the picture thing up there look nice?

Potty training

2007-04-13T12:56:00.001-05:00

2007-04-12T21:17:00.000-05:00

Hey,
Sorry I haven't been around much. Did everyone have a nice Easter? Ours was pretty good. When I figure out how to put videos on this thing I will share a video of our egg hunt. Hope everyone is well. Also sorry I haven't visited anyone lately. No excuse.
I've been spending some time over at MySpace. If you want visit me over there: http://www.myspace.com/advinson

2007-04-08T08:38:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of MsTags.com

New pic

2007-04-03T20:15:00.000-05:00

My new camera lets me do neat stuff. Like this:

Happy Birthday today to....

2007-03-30T19:57:00.000-05:00

My OLDer brother. He is 40 years OLD today!!

2007-03-24T12:03:00.000-05:00

JUST when I thought my family couldn't get any more Redneckish. This is what I saw when I went to my parent's house today: (Click on them for a bigger view)

2007-03-18T10:55:00.000-05:00

I finally got my own digital camera so I thought I would share a few things.

This is one of the walls in what is supposed to be my dining room:

This is another wall in the same room:

This is what part of my bedroom looks like:

(Yes, that is the Cat in the Hat AND a Superman doll.)

2007-03-17T08:04:00.001-05:00

Courtesy of SparkleTags.com

Thought I'd share

2007-03-15T20:15:00.000-05:00

My youngest niece had one if her art projects picked for a local exhibit. Here are some pictures:
(It's made out of clay)

Other news:

My brother is doing good. He goes back to work Monday the 19th.

My dad has been out of town, he is coming back tomorrow.

My sister and her family are going to Maryland, leaving Saturday. Next week is Spring Break here and they are spending the week up there with her husband's family.

That's about it! Hope everyone is well.

For fun

2007-03-06T17:06:00.001-06:00

HowManyOfMe.com

There are:
81
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Where have I been??

2007-02-25T09:35:00.000-06:00

Sorry, I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted.
My brother is having a rough time bouncing back from this surgery. He has been in a lot of pain. He sends many thanks to everyone for their well wishes. The doctor said he can go back to work on March 5th, but I'm not so sure he will feel up to it. I guess we'll see.

Things are not going well with the crush. He and I have been fighting for a couple of weeks. He thinks I've been ignoring him. I think he's been acting like a jerk. Lethal combo! Oh and I found out he lied to me which devastated me. He was one of the few real life people I thought I could trust. I think it's time to just move on. I'm too old for this childish crap. One of the night shift workers wanted to set me up with someone. At the time he mentioned it I didn't want to because I wanted to see if things with the crush would work out. Apparently they aren't going to work out the way I want so I suppose I'll go on the set up date. SCARY stuff!!

The kids are doing well. The 9 year old still stays with me on Friday nights. We watch TV and play games. It wears me out but we have fun.

I think I might be having a mid-life crisis. Things I used to enjoy are boring to me. I can't stay focused on anything. I just want to sleep or run away. It could be because I'm getting closer to 40 and life isn't exactly how I thought it would be. Who knows!? Speaking of 40: Years ago my dad told my sister and I if we would go to the court house to get married he would give us $1000.00 because it would be cheaper than paying for a wedding. She opted for the traditional marriage. So I asked him the other day if I wasn't married by the time I turn 40 if I could have the 1000 bucks. He said yes. So in August 2009 I will be getting $1000 for my birthday.

I think that is about all that is going on.

2007-02-14T19:29:00.000-06:00

My brother made it through his surgery. They decided to keep him over night though. Apparently something was leaking and they had to put some mesh stuff in him. They also maxed him out on pain pills because he was hurting so bad. I just got back from seeing him. He looks pretty rough. They are having to give him oxygen too. Something about being put to sleep and all the pain pills, his oxygen saturation isn't right. They said it will be okay though.

2007-02-14T07:03:00.000-06:00

Compliments of http://www.meish.org/vd/

Lucky me :(

2007-02-13T17:37:00.000-06:00

So guess how my day went? I got a speeding ticket on the way home from work. SUCKS!! Other than that nothing much is going on. Brother's surgery is tomorrow. He said thanks to everyone for their well wishes. I'll let you know how it goes.
Oh and happy birthday today to Peter Tork from The Monkees!! My sister's favorite Monkee by the way.

2007-02-10T11:24:00.000-06:00

Sorry I haven't updated more frequently, you know how it gets! Let's see, what has been going on this week?
My brother is having another surgery. It will be on Wednesday. I asked him if he picked that day so the doctor could see if he actually had a heart. This surgery is to remove the calcified scar tissue around his sternum. It will be laser surgery too so he won't have to stay overnight at the hospital.

I have been getting along better with my office mate lately which is weird. She has FINALLY loosened up some and has started being a real smart-aleck even to people other than me. It's great. It only took a year! She has been more out going and talking to our co-workers a lot more than she used to.

Biggest news: He called me at home this week. TWICE! It was great. I've been crushing on him for almost a year I sure hope it is worth the time I have put in it. I'm still shy about him but I am getting better.

I think that is about all that is happening. The kids are all doing well. They are all making good grades and enjoying school as much as kids can.

I can't remember if I told you, I quit the book club at work. The person that is over it hurt my feelings and I'm a big baby about it so I quit. AND I haven't talked to her in almost a month. I shouldn't be that way but I am. It's sad because I thought we were pretty good friends but she disrespected me in front of the entire group and I don't have to put up with that kind of crap.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend.

WooHoo!

2007-02-05T19:13:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow marks my 1 year anniversary at work! I can't beleive I made it an entire year!

2007-02-04T16:32:00.000-06:00

Sorry I haven't updated sooner. The birthday party was nice. The now 9 year old got a lot of great gifts. She had about 12 friends from school that showed up. Yep, 12 kids that were less than 10 years old. It was loud! My folks forgot their camera. One of the nieces had hers but the battery died early on. I haven't been able to get it from her to upload the pictures. Below are two that I took with my phone while we were at Chuck E Cheese. Oh and Ann-The cake was a giant chocolate chip cookie. It was delicious! Nothing much else has been going on. Work has been about the same. Oh the office mate has started to sound like me. She has been way more sarcastic than when I met her. I think she is coming out of her shell! I am so proud!

Happy Birthday today to....

2007-01-28T00:05:00.000-06:00

...My youngest niece. She is 9 today. I will post party pictures as soon as I can.

2007-01-27T08:39:00.000-06:00

Dark Purple

To others, you seem a bit dark, mysterious, and moody.
In truth, you are just a very unique person who doesn't care what others think.
And you really enjoy your offbeat interests and friends.
You've decided that life is about living for yourself - simple as that.

What Color Purple Are You?

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything.
You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey.
You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

Okay, that 2nd one is not entirely true.

2007-01-25T19:26:00.000-06:00

Okay, I've been gone long enough.
First: Sorry, I didn't intend to be gone this long but stuff happens.
Second: Thanks for the emails and well wishes. It was appreciated more than you know.
Third: Sorry I haven't visited anyone in a while. I will try to catch up over the next few days.

Too much has been going on to share it all so I will give some highlights of the past few weeks.
Bad news/good news:
As if the holidays weren't hard enough, this year my depression medicine decided to quit working right in the middle of it. However, my doctor gave me a different kind and it has been working wonders for me. I feel better than I have in a very long time.

The crush kind of broke my heart New Year's weekend, yes during the same time my medicine wasn't working. However, soon after he started being extremely sweet and blatantly flirty. (Could've had something to do with me flirting with another guy. I know, I was playing one of those stupid games that I hate!) We have gotten closer over the last week or so. We've had lunch together several times. He still makes me crazy though. He told me the other day that I was special to him and asked "You mean you can't tell I think you're special?" I don't have much self esteem so it really is hard for me to believe he thinks I'm special but he does make me feel very special.

We found out my brother had gall stones. He had surgery today. It went well. They were able to do the laser kind so he is already home. He also found out his chest pain was caused by some scar tissue that had calcified on his breastplate. This is fixable but it means he will have to undergo another major surgery soon.

The youngest niece will be 9 on Sunday. We are going to Chuck E Cheese. I know you are all jealous. It's cool because another birthday=CAKE, Ann.

I think that covers the big stuff. I hope everyone is doing well. Thanks again. Hope to hear from you all soon.

2007-01-01T16:03:00.000-06:00

I got some stuff going on so I won't be around blog world for a little while. You can reach me through email if you would like.
Everyone stay safe and enjoy the new year!

2007-01-01T00:00:00.000-06:00

Courtesy of MsTags.com

2006-12-31T09:15:00.000-06:00

Stay safe and have fun tonight everyone!

Happy Birthday today to....

2006-12-30T09:31:00.000-06:00

Mike Nesmith and Davy Jones, two of The Monkees:

2006-12-28T18:32:00.000-06:00

Well, I didn't wait a week to post again this time.
Welcome back Ann!
Christmas was good. I got to see a friend who I hadn't seen in about 7 years. That was pretty cool. I also got to see my friend who is in the Coast Guard AND is very good looking. I got some pretty good gifts, I hope to have some pictures to post in a few days. I haven't taken the time to copy them from dad's computer yet. Yes, I am lazy! The kids all had fun! It's official, the little one no longer believes in Santa. :^(
Work has been blah. I don't know how much longer I will be able to stand my office mate. She gets on my nerves so very bad. I should just suck it up and deal! Some days I just get tired of doing the right thing. I think I would feel better if I just yelled at her. Then she would cry again. Okay, enough of that. I got to see the crush on Christmas Day. I took some cupcakes to all of the workers and he was there. Of course I knew he would be that is why I went. Anyway, he gave me a hug and said "It's good to see you again." Totally thought I would die! It wasn't one of those little side hugs either. It was a face to face full hug. Made my Christmas merrier!
What is everyone doing for New Year's? I will be following my tradition of watching the Twilight Zone marathon on the Sci-Fi channel.

This is the gift I got from a guy at work. Not the crush, the other one:

I couldn't decide if it was sweet or if he thinks I stink! ;^)

2006-12-24T08:45:00.000-06:00

Courtesy of MsTags.com

2006-12-23T13:00:00.000-06:00

Courtesy of MsTags.com

2006-12-21T20:06:00.000-06:00

I can't believe I went an entire week without updating. Sorry about that! I've been stressed and not feeling well. Like a lot if people this time of year messes me up emotionally which takes its toll on me physically. Things at work have not been helping either, way too stressful!
In more positive news: My brother is back to his old self. Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and concerns about him. I gave him all of the well wishes and he was very grateful for your kindness.
The kids are all excited about Christmas. They are looking forward to opening presents. The youngest is the only one that still believes in Santa and this is probably her last year because some of the kids she goes to school with keep telling her he isn't real. It may seem silly but it makes me sad. Kids grow up too fast, Santa is the last real kiddie thing left.
The crush didn't come in and get his check the other day so it has now been a week and 2 days since I've had contact with him and I still got 5 days to go!
Does everyone have big plans for the holidays? I know Ann went on a trip to see her babies! What is everyone else doing?

2006-12-14T19:42:00.000-06:00

What a week this had been!
First-HOORAY Mike came back!!!!
I'm still recovering from the medication sickness, almost better so not to worry! It's very tiring being sick.
Anyway, Monday evening we thought my brother had a heart attack. He was in the hospital Monday night and Tuesday. It wasn't his heart but it was extremely stressful for the family. He is ONLY 39. WAY too young for a heart attack, in my opinion. We still don't know what was wrong with him but at least it isn't life threatening.
What else? Oh yeah, Tuesday was the last day I get to see the crush until after Christmas. How depressing is that? I was still very sick when I saw him Monday so Tuesday he kept teasing me, saying I ignored him. (He knows I was sick.) I told him "I'm pretty sure I talked to you everytime I saw you." He said I was too drugged up to notice him. Then I described the shirt he was wearing to prove I DID notice him. Hah! Then he said "Well maybe you came out of the drug-induced state for a few minutes." It was funny. That was the day my brother was in the hospital so I wasn't in the mood to be there, he made the day better. It's only been two days and I already miss him. I'm going to be miserable before I see him again. I hope he comes in to get his check tomorrow, that would be nice. Okay, enough of that stuff, I sound like a love-sick puppy.
Yesterday was the Christmas lunch at work and stupid me had volunteered to help serve. I had to be nice to WAY too many people for way too long! I don't usually play well with others and I am shy so it was a bit stressful. I got through it though.
I guess that's all.
How is everyone else's life?

2006-12-10T12:00:00.000-06:00

I survived my surgery!! I can now eat sweets again! HOORAY! Sadly though the medicine they gave me to help in recovery has made me extremely sick. I have spent most of the weekend in the bed trying not to throw-up. I have to be better by tomorrow because he will be back at work! You know I can't miss that! Nothing else is going on, I'll update more when something happens.

Another new pic

2006-12-09T15:38:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday today to....

2006-12-08T00:05:00.000-06:00

My former college roomie Sherry! I was going to post some pictures of her from our college days but then I remembered she has pictures of me from back then too. Some of them are blackmail quality so I decided against it. I also decided NOT to reveal her age. She is younger than I am, but just barely!
Happy Birthday Sher!!!!!

2006-12-06T21:10:00.000-06:00

Let's see...what has been going on? My oral surgery is Friday. Looking forward to getting it over with. I've been extremely busy at work. The crush bought my lunch last Friday. It was nice. That entire day was very weird. Unfortunately, that is the last time I've seen him. He has been off this whole week, it has royally sucked. He is supposed to be back Monday.
I actually put up my Christmas tree. First time in five years I've put one up.
I think that covers most everything happening. Man I lead a boring life!

New pictures:

2006-12-02T16:17:00.000-06:00

2006-11-30T20:24:00.000-06:00

Nothing exciting going on. Still struggling with not letting this time of year depress me. :^( I have to have oral surgery December 8th. :^( I haven't seen the crush since the day before Thanksgiving. :^( He is supposed to be there tomorrow, hopefully! :^) I guess that is about it! Hope everyone is well.

2006-11-25T10:09:00.000-06:00

How was everyone's Thanksgiving? Mine went really well. No fights, no yelling, no crying. It was kind of creepy how well everyone got along.

What a day

2006-11-22T17:18:00.000-06:00

I got to have lunch with him today. It was awesome! Here's what happened-When I saw him on break this morning I went in the breakroom to talk to him. I'm getting bolder, I didn't even try to make an excuse this time I just went in and sat down with him! He showed me a picture of the Harley he wants to buy, it is very nice. While we were looking at it I asked him what time he got lunch, because he never gets to go at the same time. We talked a little longer then he asked "Why did you want to know when I get lunch? Was you wanting to eat with me?" I said "Maybe, is that okay with you?" He said "Yeah". Then I said "Unless you don't want me to". I put on my pouty face when I said that. (I know, I make me sick too.) He said it wasn't that he didn't want me to it was that since he had to eat so late he didn't think I would want to wait that long. He was eating about an hour after I normally eat, I think I can manage. I figured he would forget or go do something else for lunch. (Low self-esteem still kicks in from time to time.) When he walked by at lunch he was with a group of guys. He put his hand on the door but kept going, so I was thinking: "Yep, ditched me for the boys. It's okay, I can handle it." Which is a total lie, I can't handle it but I can suppress the urge to cry until I get home. I heard them leave out. I just kept working, ignoring what I felt. About a minute later he came back in and asked if I had eaten yet. I told him "No, I told you I was waiting for you." "Well, come on then, let's go." "When you walked on by I thought you were ditching me." "Nah, I wouldn't do that." So we went to the breakroom and had lunch. It was awesome. Would've been better if it hadn't been so crowded. Any other day nobody would've been in there at that time. Later in the afternoon I passed him in the hall and he did that thing where he softly touches my arm. You know, that thing that drives me up the wall?!
Anyway, there it is, my latest edition of the crush making me crazy.
Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. I am so looking forward to having turkey. Of course I have something wrong with a tooth that I'm not able to get fixed until next week so I won't be able to enjoy as much as I would like! I can't have anything sweet because it causes me way too much pain!

2006-11-20T13:50:00.000-06:00

Please remember the families and friends: 3 students killed in bus accident.
This happened in the next city over from me.

It's whining time again...

2006-11-15T19:08:00.000-06:00

This time of year always messes me up. I get depressed. This season is so family oriented it makes me sad because I don't have my own kids or spouse to share it with. It get agitated with myself because I should be content with what I do have. I honestly do try to focus on what I have instead of what I don't have. Sometimes though, I just can't help it. I would really love to have a special someone to share things with. Oh well, I guess if it's meant to be then it will happen.
Enough of that crap.
I may get a raise at work. I took a test for a different position and I passed. I think my boss is trying to get my job title changed, since I passed the test, that way I could get more money and not have to change my job. Pretty sweet deal if it happens!
All the kids are looking forward to being out of school for the holidays. I am looking forward to getting turkey!
The crush is still making me nuts! He is so cool. Somedays I just want to smack him though. Why are guys the way they are? He KNOWS I like him, I know he does. So why does he have to act like he doesn't think I do? To his credit, he did quit trying to convince me that I like someone else. MEN!! Maybe I should just give up on him. Sorry, I'm in one of those moods again.

Guess who has a birthday today?

2006-11-13T00:06:00.000-06:00

Happy Veteran's Day

2006-11-11T07:18:00.000-06:00

Thanks to all the men & women of the Armed Forces.

This image from clipartheaven.com

2006-11-09T15:48:00.000-06:00

Nothing much going on around here right now. I get an EXTRA long weekend because tomorrow the office is closed for Veteran's Day so I asked if I could be off today too. My boss went for it so I get an extra long weekend. The crush has been off most of this month so nothing new has developed there. I did get to see him Friday. I told him I had really missed him and he said I made him blush. I couldn't decide if that was really cute or just weird. I've never made a guy blush before, didn't even know they could. :^) I've had a lot of them make ME blush. Both him and the other one were off this week, I told my boss she couldn't let both of them off the same week again because I needed one of them there. She just looked at me like I was crazy and said "Umm ok". It was kind of funny.
Thanksgiving is coming up, which means turkey! I LOVE turkey!
I think that's all. I'll try to be better at updating.

2006-11-05T10:13:00.000-06:00

Here's my sister's kids on my uncle's bike:

Aren't they sweet??

2006-11-01T21:44:00.000-06:00

Okay, I got my test results. My Thyroid is under-active, see even my organs are lazy. I have new medicine to take, once I get used to it I should be okay. I am totally fine with it being my Thyroid, it is way better than what it could've been! I have actually been feeling better and I'm not having to take some of the other medication as often. Health-wise things are looking up.
Didn't get that promotion afterall. These things happen and I am okay with not getting it. Things at work have still been stressful and will probably get worse before they get better. Today was horrible! I thought I would cry before I got to leave. It'll be better tomorrow.
Those goofy men are making me crazy! I like attention though so it's all good. Today I had to fuss at one of them. Not the crush, the other one, long story I'll have to share later. I will tell you- I was right and he was totally wrong.
Anyway, I gotta go to bed. Hope everyone is well and had a nice Halloween. It rained here.

2006-10-31T06:56:00.000-06:00

Hope everyone has a safe and Happy Halloween!

Email humor

2006-10-30T19:02:00.000-06:00

You may have seen these before, I think they are funny enough to see again. I will put a real post updating on everything going on here in a day or two.

Finally a Barbie I can relate to. At long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic...

1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain, and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.

2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues.

3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.

4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new,roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, two-MuMus with tummy-support panels are included.

5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.

6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.

7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr.. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."

9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for$ 199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.

10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously.. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.

11. Post-Menopausal Barbie.This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels.. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.

Happy Birthday today to....

2006-10-27T06:54:00.000-05:00

...my nephew, Kevin! He is officially a teenager today!

2006-10-22T11:41:00.000-05:00

My favorite uncle:

My favorite uncle's new toy:

My favorite uncle with his new toy:

Did I ever mention the ink I have?

2006-10-21T13:37:00.000-05:00

Here is a pic of one of them:

This was taken with the cell too so it isn't very good. You can get the idea though.

Redneck humor from my inbox

2006-10-20T18:35:00.000-05:00

"Hello, is this the sheriff's office?"

"Yes. What can I do for you?"

"I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith.... He's hidin' Marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece Of wood, but find no marijuana.

They sneer at Virgil and leave. Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.

"Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd.... Did the Sheriff come?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep!"

"Happy Birthday, buddy!"

(Rednecks know how to Git-R-Done!!!!)

2006-10-19T21:54:00.000-05:00

Here is a picture of all 5 kids that I took Sunday. It was taken with my cell so it isn't very good. As soon as I get the copy from the camera I will post it.

To pee or not to pee...?

2006-10-18T19:25:00.000-05:00

...what a stupid question.
Haha sorry that line came to mind today and I had to use it. I had to have some tests ran today. Long story, will let you know if it's anything serious. Anyway, you may recall my drug-screen drama back in February when I had to give a urine sample, well one of the tests today required that same type of specimen. As always, I failed miserably at going in the cup. There has GOT to be another way to do those type tests! I had to have an EKG too and all I could think was that my heart-rate had to be off the charts because I was so stressed about not being able to provide a proper specimen for the other test! I made it through all that mess and went on to work. Today wasn't quite as bad as the past 2 days were, probably because I wasn't there as long. Oh and thanks to everyone for your kind thoughts and words about my bad week. When I get my test results I will let everyone know a little more about what is going on with me.
He didn't work today but this other dude that likes to mess with my mind was there. This one has this habit of kissing me on the cheek if I give him candy or let him borrow money and little attention ho me lets him do it. He's all sweet when he wants something and even though I KNOW why he is doing it, I still fall for it. Am I just messed up or what? Today he came into my office, hugged me and said "I just came to see what you got for me today". My response was "Nuttin but love baby, nuttin but love." He said "Well today that is good enough." Then I gave him candy and he leaned over my desk and kissed my cheek. Now if I could just get the same deal from the crush I would be a happy woman! Thank goodness they work on different crews so they rarely work together. Yes, they do know about each other and they both give me grief about the other one. "You like him better because..." "I don't want to hear about another man that you give attention to..." MEN!!!!!!!!

Oh I forgot-I am very sorry I haven't been very good about visiting everyone lately. I know it's a lame excuse but I've had a bunch of stuff going on. If y'all can bear (or is it bare?) with me for a little while longer I should be back to my old self again.

2006-10-17T19:22:00.000-05:00

Finally have a day or two without a birthday! I have had a very crappy week so far but I'm not in the mood to whine about it right now so I will just share this email I got:

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4 Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Happy Birthday today to....

2006-10-16T07:07:00.000-05:00

...My niece Haley. This one is my "babygirl", she is 14 today.

She's not smoking by the way. She was just playing with a straw. She is getting her braces off next month and is very excited about that!

Happy Birthday today to....

2006-10-15T07:54:00.000-05:00

...my mom

Party this afternoon!! Yes Ann, there will be CAKE!!!

Happy Birthday today to....

2006-10-14T11:45:00.000-05:00

...my sister

She hates getting her picture taken so I don't have many of her. We are having a party Sunday afternoon so I will try and get a new pic of her.

2006-10-14T07:00:00.000-05:00

Things I learnt in Alabama

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Alabama.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Alabama, plus a couple no one's seen before.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
And let us never forget, it's not a garden hose or simply hose, it's a"hosepipe" (one word).
Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
People actually grow and eat okra. (and like it!)
Mamanem means the whole family. ("Are mamanem comin?")
There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There's only dinner and then there's supper.
Backards and foreards means I know everything about you.
Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat yet?"

Most of these are pretty accurate. A couple I don't agree with like that one about the hose. I have lived in Bama my enitre life and never once has anyone called it a "hosepipe". We call it a hose or "the water hose". Oh and I DON'T like okra! But my family pronounces it "Okry" (oak-ree) not "okra" (oak-ra).

More inbox humor...

2006-10-10T21:29:00.000-05:00

Redneck Wiener Roasting!!
Now admit it....unless you're a REDNECK,
you've never thought of such a BRILLIANT plan!

Careers & Crushes = confusion

2006-10-09T14:01:00.000-05:00

Okay, so after much contemplation I have made a decision about the new job opportunity. I just can't do it. PSYCHE! Yeah, I'm going to give it a go. What have I got to lose, right? It was not an easy decision. There are a bunch of pros in the new position but there are also a lot of cons. (Mainly not getting to see certain people) I think I can work my way around most of the negative things, hopefully anyway. I appreciate everyone's input in the matter, believe me when I say I took everyone's ideas very seriously. I almost told them NO the other day because some of the higher ups were acting as though I would just automatically take the job. I hate when people just ASSUME I am going to do what they want me to do! When I do something like this it has to be what I want. I am NOT going to do something just to make them happy or just because they expected I would. Yes, I am very rebellious like that. They lady who is leaving started on me the day after she turned in her notice with stuff like: "I'm going to show you how to do this & that..." I was like, "Umm, why would I want to know. I haven't told you I wanted that job." Then she said "Oh sure you have. That's what I heard you say". Stuff like that. Ticked me off. I told her not to just assume I would take it just because that was what she wanted. I make my OWN decisions based on what is right for ME!
Anyway, there is still a process that has to be followed. I have to apply, be interviewed and all that kind of stuff, and the job has to be posted for two weeks so anyone interested has an equal shot at it. Who knows? I may end up blowing the interview. I don't exactly get along with the boss in there and I REALLY don't get along with the man that runs the hospital, he gets input about who gets the position. So all this struggling with a decision could've been for naught! That would kind of SUCK! But on the other hand it would mean it wasn't meant to be for whatever reason.
Now to him. My interactions with him can be summed up in three words: CONFUSION REIGNS SUPREME! That is my new motto for life. I think he does stuff just to see what kind of reaction he gets. If I didn't like him so much it would probably tick me off. I hate those games however! I do enjoy that he takes the time to play them with me. See, confusion! He spent the better part of last week trying to set me up with this other dude. He actually spent nearly ten minutes one day giving me details as to why I liked this other guy. What a pain. I don't know, maybe he was trying to get me to say that I liked him instead but as I stated earlier, I don't do stuff like that just because someone wants me to. Too much of a rebel. I finally ended up telling him if the other guy can make lasagna better than I can then send him over. He hasn't tried to set me up with the other guy anymore. I guess I won that round? He KNOWS I like him. I know he does. How could he not? I've been less than subtle which really isn't me at all. Oh well whatever happens, it certainly has been an entertaining ride!

Go figure!

2006-10-08T13:03:00.000-05:00

You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny.
Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it.
And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.

How Sarcastic Are You?

New caps....

2006-10-08T00:03:00.000-05:00

"Frazier" looks good in blue:

Pyro is too HOT!

(From X-3)

Yep, this is about right!

2006-10-07T18:22:00.000-05:00

Which Horror Movie Slasher are you?

Loud and straight to the point you are!! You don't care who sees you coming! Your not that creative though in clothing or weapon choice. What people think of you doesn't get on your nerves at all. You don't like it when people invade your personal space, and you'll let them now.. loudly!
Take this quiz!

Make A Quiz More Quizzes Grab Code

I promise to update you about the job and crush situation in a few days.

Because I wasn't stressed enough...

2006-10-04T19:36:00.000-05:00

The woman over me in payroll is quitting. She got a better job. Now they have to train someone else to do the job and since we got the new system, the job is a pain. Way harder than it should be. I don't like change, I don't usually get along with people, I have a very hard time meeting new people, blah blah blah. Like I want to deal with a new person who doesn't know anything about the freaking pay system! Oh, they want ME to take over the job. I am very torn about it. True it would be a step up. The money is better but with more money comes more responsibility and stress. I've only been there 8 months and I am very honored they think I could handle such a job. I wouldn't have to deal with my office mate anymore, I would have my OWN office, no more sharing. However, I wouldn't get to see my buddies as often as I do now, that includes him. I wouldn't have as much freedom to leave the office as I do now. There are three other women in an adjacent office whom I would have to work closely with and I don't get along with them very well. They are: A know-it-all, a whiner, and this creepy older single lady who isn't shy about sharing her sexploitations with the world. I would have a different boss too and the one I have now is the best boss I have ever had. I would really hate to leave her. I talked to her about it yesterday and she encouraged me to go for it, even though "I will miss you and you will be very hard to replace". The only reason I would do it would be for the money because it really is way better but I live comfortably with my income now. So, now you know what's going on here. Any thoughts?

Life & love

2006-10-01T09:12:00.000-05:00

This week has been ~~hectic~~ ~~crazy~~ weird. Monday my sister and I went to the cemetery. It was SUPPOSED to be a time for she and I to share memories and support each other because it still hurts very much having to visit a friend in the graveyard. However, for no apparent reason she brought her husband with her. I was so upset. This was OUR time. It would be different if he was friends with the guy but he wasn't. He couldn't stand the guy. It went better than I thought it would though. I just sucked it up and went on about my business. I did pout the whole way up there, it's about an hour away. Not proud of my behavior but it was better than starting a fight. The reason we go on that date is because years ago I made a promise to him. I promised that if he died before I did then every year on the anniversary of his death I would go to the cemetery, play the AC/DC song "Have a drink on me", and do just that, have a drink "on" him. At the time I still drank alcohol but I have since quit so I drink a Diet Mt Dew. I'm sure a lot of people may think this is an extremely odd thing to do, but I made a promise and as long as I'm able I will honor that promise.
Next-My oldest niece (the one down there that just turned 17) amazed me the other day. We had went to the store where we saw this guy she likes. She started telling me why she liked him, "He's so hot" and "He is just soooo nice", you know that kind of thing. Then she said "And he reads!" I made a face and told her that most people read. She said "NO, I mean he reads for fun. He hangs out at Books-A-Million and reads just because he wants to." I told her that it was great that he does that but more importantly I was glad that something like that impressed her. I mean how many people, youngsters especially, are impressed that someone reads? Got to love it!
Next-The nephew (who will be 13 on the 27th). He had to endure his first broken heart this week. The little girl he had been "going out with" since June, broke up with him. This is new territory for all of us since up until now we have only had girl's heartaches to deal with. Those are easier because then we can just say "Ehh, guys are all pigs anyway." Can't say that when it's the guy who is hurting. I just hugged him and told him I was sorry. I'm sure he will be okay. His mom (my sister) said he is looking for a new one already. He is cute, smart, and nice so he shouldn't have any problem. Yes, I am a little biased since he is MY nephew.
Lastly-The crush. He is still making me crazy and I still get a rush when he walks by.

Hey, no birthdays today!

2006-09-29T18:01:00.000-05:00

Have some email humor instead:

Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked,"Is it true they're suin' them cigarette companies fer causin' people to git cancer?"

"Yes, Bubba, sure is true," responded the lawyer.
"And now someone is suin' them fast food restaurants fer makin' them fat an' cloggin' their arteries with all them burgers an' fries, is that true, Mista Lawyer?"
"Sure is, Bubba."
"And that lady sued McDonald's for millions when she was gave that hot coffee that she ordered?"
"Yep."
"And that football player sued that university when he gradiated and still couldn't read?"
"That's right," said the lawyer. "But why are you asking?"
"Well, I was thinkin' . . . What I want to know is, kin I sue Budweiser fer all them ugly women I slept with ?"

Happy Birthday today to....

2006-09-28T06:54:00.000-05:00

...My oldest niece. She is 17 today and I feel so old because of it!

This is the tag I got her for her car:

This is her posing while holding her tag. The vehicle behind her is her gift from her parents:

This is her being silly showing off the tag after we put it on the car:

I wasn't going to give it to her until today but I decided she could have it a day early.

Happy Birthday today to....

2006-09-27T06:38:00.000-05:00

...My dad

In memory...

2006-09-24T20:14:00.000-05:00

Larry "Damon" Lee

1974-2004

This was a friend of mine. He was killed September 25th two years ago. I had known him 17 years at the time of his death. I cared about him deeply and I really miss him. This time of year I'm reminded of some of the outrageous things we did. Like the time we were riding around after a movie. He asked where I wanted to ride to and I jokingly said "Florida". He said okay. Then we went to each of our houses, got a change of clothes and drove to Florida. We drove all night and got to Pensacola around the time school was starting. I remember that because we ran into A LOT of school traffic. I had an aunt living there at the time, we stopped by and visited her for a while, went to the beach for a few hours, had lunch at Subway on the beach, then found a hotel and passed out. We left for home the next day. My parents were in shock because I was the "good kid". The first thing my dad said was "Where exactly was that movie?", because when he went to bed we were leaving for a movie. That next night we were going to another movie, before we left my dad said "You are coming back tonight aren't you?" We did little road trips like that several more times. I could just call him and say "Hey, let's run away again", he would pack and we would be on our way. We fought like cats and dogs but we knew we could count on each other if a problem arose. He was the master at cheering me up when I was in one of my dark moods. (They were REALLY bad back then.) I got this great story about when he was arrested too but I'll save that one for another day. The next few days things will more than likely be dedicated to my memories of him so if you're not in the mood for that kind of thing-consider yourself warned. Thanks.

It's been one of those kind of weeks...

2006-09-23T19:28:00.000-05:00

Love Stinks
(P. Wolf/S. Justman)

You love her
But she loves him
And he loves somebody else
Ya just can't win
And so it goes
Till the day you die
This thing they call love
It's gonna make you cry
I've had the blues
The reds and the pinks
One thing's for sure

Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah

Two by two and side by side
Love's gonna find you yes it is
Ya just can't hide
You'll hear it call
Your heart will fall
Then love will fly
It's gone that's all
I don't care what any Casanova thinks
All I can say is
Love stinks

Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah

I've been through diamonds
I've been through minks
I've been through it all
Love stinks

Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah

Love stinks

2006-09-22T19:03:00.000-05:00

Look at that smile, couldn't you just die?

Oh to be that ice cream....

Yeah I know, that was kinda sick wasn't it?

2006-09-20T18:00:00.000-05:00

How Smart Is Your Right Foot?

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will
keep trying it at least 50 more times to see if you can
outsmart your foot. But you can't!!!

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction!!!

I told you so... And there is nothing you can do about it.
Make sure you pass this on to your friends... They won't be
able to believe it either!!!

KEEP TRYING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thought I forgot again, didn't you?

2006-09-18T20:45:00.000-05:00

This is Mike asking me out:

This is him giving me puppy-dog eyes so I would say yes:

This is him wondering why I turned him down:
Don't be so sad Mikey, I didn't say no. I said not tonight. There IS a difference!

;^)

2006-09-16T09:27:00.000-05:00

Everyone should go over and see Liz. She does wonderful drawings and has a very nice one of Mike posted. Speaking of Mike, I haven't posted any pictures of him lately, have I? What is wrong with me? Oh yeah, I've been distracted. I will remedy that soon and I will post some fresh pictures.

2006-09-14T21:15:00.000-05:00

I'm not in the mood to be creative so enjoy this email. That sounded kind of bossy, you don't HAVE to enjoy it if you don't want to. Heck, you don't even have to read it if you don't want to, but if you want to here it is:

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could
all use a little more calmness in our lives.

By following simple advice I heard on the 'Dr. Phil' show, you too can
find inner peace.

Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all
the things you've started and never finished."
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't
finished, and before leaving the house this morning,
I finished off 23 Bud Lights, a bottle of Absolute, a package of
Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the
cheesecake, some Doritos and a box of chocolates.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel. Please pass this on to those
you feel might be in need of inner peace

Happy 40th to....

2006-09-12T07:07:00.000-05:00

...One of my favorite shows, The Monkees! Yes, 40 years ago today it premiered.

Error messages I can understand...

2006-09-11T20:45:00.000-05:00

Inbox stuff, yet again

2006-09-10T10:48:00.000-05:00

1. Men are like ...Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like...Bananas...The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ......Weather .. Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like...Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ...Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like...Department Stores...Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ....Government Bonds .... They take sooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .....Mascara... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like...Popcorn ....They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like...Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like .......Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like...Parking Spots...All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Note to any males who read this-It's a joke!

A few more pictures

2006-09-09T13:01:00.000-05:00

This is the oldest niece acting like she is gonna throw the youngest niece over the edge of the upstairs area.

This is three of the nieces and the nephew checking out the inside of the limo.

The parents showing off all the cash they collected in that basket.

This is the "Groom's cake". Chocolate, YUMMY! (My sister made the cakes.)
And this is a shot of some of the relatives doing what our family does best...eating!

More party pictures...

2006-09-07T19:00:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the delay, things have been chaotic around here.

This table was at the entrance. It had the guest book, some food, old pictures and a copy of their marriage certificate. Oh and see the basket? That is where people put money for my folks. They got a pretty good haul of cash because most everyone gave them $40, you know one for each year!
When they got married they didn't have a reception or anything so they did all the cutesy stuff at the party. They cut the cake together and fed each other. No they didn't smash it in each other's face. I tried to get them to do it but they wouldn't. (Oh those pictures in the front are them when they were senoirs in high school.)

They locked arms and sipped their drinks. They sipped Sierra Mist. In this picture my dad is acting like he is gonna spill it on her.

This is my mom's youngest brother who happens to be my favorite uncle. He's so cool, he is in the process of shopping for a Harley and he promised to take me for a ride if/when he gets one!

This is the oldest niece being cute. She was doing an impression of another niece. If you knew them this would be funnier to you but trust me, it's a dead on impression!

For the nieces and nephew:

2006-09-04T09:15:00.000-05:00

All the kids loved this guy. It is very sad to see him go but he died doing what he loved.
Click here for the story

Some of the party pictures

2006-09-02T23:06:00.000-05:00

This is the spinach stuff Jill sent me the recipe for:

This is the other recipe I got from Jill:

This is the cake:

This is the limo that picked them up:

This is them arriving at the party:

I will post some of the other ones in a couple of days.

Busy, busy, busy

2006-08-30T20:54:00.000-05:00

The 40th Anniversary party is Saturday so things are pretty hectic around here. Just wanted to put up a note so everyone would know why I probably won't be around for a few days. I will post pictures as soon as I can. We confirmed the limo today so my folk's will be arriving in style!! Of course since we ARE rednecks I suggested renting a Monster Truck, but I couldn't get my brother and sister to go for that! Jill: my sister is making both of those things you sent the recipes for so thanks again very much! We were not able to book the DJ my brother wanted but that was okay because nobody else wanted to anyway. We know how to turn on a CD player and it is way cheaper! Last I heard about 40 people are positive they will be there which I thought was appropriate since it is the 40th anniversary! If we can make it through without my sister killing my brother then we will call the party a success! We are going to try & get a copy of their wedding picture enlarged to hang up at the party. That may be tricky since there is only one copy of it and I don't want the parent's to know I'm doing it because I think at least part of it should be a surprise. There will be cake which means I am excited! My sister, who is an awesome cake-maker, is making a Wedding cake and Groom's cake for it. I LOVE to eat Wedding cake! (I've told people that I wanted to get married just for the cake! My sister told me that if I wasn't married by the time I was 40 then my 40th b-day cake would be a wedding cake. I got less than 3 years, I'm thinking I won't make it! Pathetic, ain't it!?)
Other news: I saw him today. Aaaahh. It was great. He made me very happy but I can't get into the details now, sorry. I will say this: No he didn't ask me out. Yes he made me feel very special. If I wasn't such a chicken I would invite him to the party. Not that he would go since he doesn't know anyone in my family! That's it for now. I'll be back in a few days and I should have party pictures!

Inbox humor

2006-08-28T19:29:00.000-05:00

Ok this is a man after my own heart.

WAL-MART APPLICATION
This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas.
They hired him because he was so funny.....

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place ?

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no!
; On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

***Old People Rock!***

Another email questionaire...

2006-08-26T12:21:00.000-05:00

You know I REALLY hate forwarding these things so if you want to take it, then feel free. And of course I didn't play by the rules because I live in my own world where I am the queen and make up rules to suit my needs as I go along.

Welcome to the new edition of getting to know your friends. Okay
here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be lame and spoil the
fun! Just copy (do not forward) this entire e-mail and paste into a new
e-mail that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to
you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the
person that sent it to you. Some of you may get this several times that
means you have lots of friends.

1. What is your occupation?
Umm, it's my job, right?

2. What color are your socks right now?
most of them are white, I have a couple with dirt stains on them. I got one pair that has The Grinch on it and one with the Pink Panther and I think I got a pair with the Cat in the Hat. I don't wear socks in the summer though, EVER.

3. What are you listening to right now?
Mainly just the voices in my head

4. What was the last thing that you ate?
Food?

5. Can you drive a stick shift?
I can drive it right into a wall.

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Burnt Umber

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
my sister

8. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
I would hope so, why else would I waste my time filling it out?

9. How old are you today?
One day older than yesterday

10. Favorite drink?
Sweet Tea

11. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Baseball

12. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Kind if personal ain't it? I mean the point of dying usually is for a discreet change or to cover gray, so if I answered that it would defeat the purpose.

13. Pets?
Not that others can see, except that pet rock on the porch

14. Favorite food?
Free!

15. What was the last movie you watched?
Cheetah Girls 2 (What can I say? I had a kid here last night)

16. Favorite day of the year?
Toss up between my birthday and any pay day

17. What do you do to vent anger?
Me? I never get angry. Shut-up I don't! I SAID I DON'T GET ANGRY NOW LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT IT!

18. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Whichever ones I could annoy my brother and sister with

19. What is your favorite fall or spring?
hmmm, hay fever or pollen? tough choice.

20. Hugs or kisses?
Depends, if you're talking about Hershey's then kisses. Otherwise it depends on who is the recipient of the action.

21. Cherries or Blueberries?
If we're talking about Pop-Tarts or Kool-Aid then cherry. Otherwise, neither

22. Do you want your friends to email you back?
Obviously, or they wouldn't be my friends

23. Who is most likely to respond?
not sure, I guess anyone who has some time to kill.

25. Living arrangements?
In a house, all alone

26. When was the last time you cried?
When I answered the above question.

27. What is on the floor of your closet?
Not sure if my closet has a floor, haven't seen it!

28. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending
this to?
I'm not actually sending it out and not sure who is reading it. Probably Sherry if she stops by because I've known her for, well a lot of years but if I say how long it will make us both feel old.

29. What did you do last night?
Entertained an 8 year old. Tried to sleep with said 8 year old asleep on my feet.

30. Favorite smells?
Ooh this cool guy I work with, he smells REALLY good. (No, not THAT one)

31. What inspires you?
Usually the desire to prove someone wrong about me

32. What are you afraid of?
Not being able to prove them wrong

33. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?
yes

34. Favorite dog breed?
Oscar Mayer

35. Number of keys on your key ring?
2 sets of 3

36. How many years at your current job?
6 months and 20 days

37. Favorite day of the week?
whichever day my crush is at work, varies week to week

38. How many states have you lived in?
Are we counting the states of confusion or depression? If not, 2.

39. Favorite holidays?
Halloween because of the candy. Confederate Memorial Day because I work for a redneck state that gives me that day off.

40. Ever driven a Motorcycle or heavy machinery?
I was going to but this medicine I take says not to operate heavy machinery so I couldn't.

Why I won't be eating cake at the meeting tomorrow:

2006-08-24T17:12:00.000-05:00

This was sent to me from the woman who runs the book club at work. It is her turn to provide the dessert for the meeting but she has been out this week due to a back injury.

Amy,

I have emerged from a drug-induced state just long enough to add oil and eggs to mixes and "Irene Goodnight's Bundt Cake" is in the oven - don't worry yourself that I forgot and we will be foodless tomorrow for the Readers. Of course, you must remember that I mixed the ingredients while popping pills described as "opiate derivatives", so while I HOPE they were eggs and oil I added to the mixes, one can never be sure given my current state of mind. I do hope that was cake mix and not instant mashed potatoes. Oh well, I guess we'll find out tomorrow.
Pharmacology is a wonderful thing - I'm going back to bed. Hope the cake doesn't burn! See you tomorrow.

2006-08-23T20:13:00.000-05:00

He was off today and will be off tomorrow. :^( It will be a LONG day. I'm usually okay for one day but by the 2nd day I start missing him and good gravy I got it bad don't I? Even worse since he is working this weekend and I don't work weekends, it will be Wednesday before I see him again (After Friday). That is FOUR long days. Whine whine whine. Of course there is another guy on the other crew that I kind of flirt with too, but it just isn't the same. I think I'm starting to make myself sick. If y'all only knew me in real life you would know this is nothing like me at all! I've had a Cast Iron Heart for so many years this whole thing is just new and exciting and scary. It's hard to explain exactly. Yes, I know everyone has been through these things but I also know everyone is different. Each person handles things differently and what worked before may not work this time. The reverse is also true, what didn't work before may work now. Crap, I'm rambling again aren't I? I just turned 37 so why do things like this make me feel like I'm a child? I HATE not knowing how to handle things. Anyway, I'll shut up now before I bore you to tears.

Time for today's installment of man making me crazy...

2006-08-21T20:02:00.000-05:00

He came in the office this morning for no apparent reason other than to make me nuts. He walked in I said hi, he said "Hey, how you doing baby?" (Kind of reminded me of Joey from Friends) Of course I was great after that. "I'm fine, thank you." Then he spoke to my office mate for a few minutes and left. I was disappointed he didn't stay longer but I take what I can get. I tried to focus on work but all I could do was think-he called baby. I know I'm pathetic. So a few minutes after 12 he came back to the office, walked up to my desk, and said "What are we doing for lunch?" I was TRYING to remain calm and asked "What do you want?" He said "Caviar and escargot." I said-"Why don't you be nasty?" (I hate that kind of food) Then he said "How about Captain D's then?" I HATE fish and any type of seafood but I told him if that was what he wanted I would go get it. (Because of the job he does he isn't allowed to leave the premises as much as I am) I told him I didn't think I could make it there and back in my 30 minute lunch time. He said he thought I could. Then as quickly as he came in the office, he left without telling me what he wanted. I waited for a while to see if he came back, but he didn't. That meant I had to either not get him lunch or I had to go up stairs and track him down. Any guesses as to what I did? Want me to tell you now or should I keep you in suspense until tomorrow? Just kidding, I'll tell ya. Of course I went upstairs to find him. He wasn't there so I had to wait for a few minutes. When he got there he said "Hey baby what are you doing?" "Umm you didn't tell me what you wanted." "Oh I want a couple of tacos." "They don't sell tacos at Captain D's." We had a few minutes of pointless conversation before I finally got him to tell me what to get. All the time I'm thinking-I hate fish and I'm wasting MY lunch break picking up fish, yuck. When I was leaving the area he walked behind me to the door then said "Thank you baby" I nodded then started unlocking the door. Right before I left I heard him say "You know I love you". Oh my goodness. I know he only said it because I was doing him a favor but good gracious I thought I would drop my keys. That was about it, I got back with his food, he came and got it and thanked me. Then I didn't see him the rest of the day. It was okay though because he called me baby like 3 times so I was good to go. I hate me when I act all girlie but I can't help it!

I'm too old.

2006-08-20T12:17:00.000-05:00

Yesterday my almost 14 yr old niece was helping unpack some of my kitchen items. She took a container out and said :"Ooh auntie Amy, this is off da cha-zain!" "Umm okay, what?"
"This is crunk juice and it's off da ch-zain." Of course I don't speak her language so I have no clue what she is talking about. I turned so I could see what she was talking about and so she could see the look on my face. Apparently, in her world, Kool-Aid is crunk juice and it's off da cha-zain. From what I gathered, this is a good thing. It made me feel old and the other kids just laughed at me because they knew what she meant.
I spent my first night at the new place Friday night. I didn't sleep very well but I wasn't expecting to because I usually have problems in new places. Last night was better because I was very tired so I had no trouble falling asleep. I have SOOOO many boxes to unpack. I don't think I'll ever get finished! Everything is so different. Things are backwards I can't figure out where to put stuff but It'll be okay. Most importantly I got the computer, TV and microwave hooked up and the bed is here! I'll update more later this week on the progress of my unpacking.
Oh I almost forgot-The new place has central air and it is wonderful!

Lost in emotions...

2006-08-17T19:18:00.000-05:00

This is it...Tonight is my last night at my current house...Mixed emotions about it. I hate to leave this place...I fear change...This house has a lot of happy memories...On the other hand...This house also has a lot of not so happy memories so I am looking forward opening a new chapter in my life...I'm too old to start over again...I'm only as young as I feel...New challenges...The new house is bigger and a little nicer...I'll be able to invite friends over and not feel embarrassed the condition of the house...Does anyone even like me enough to want to come visit...It's going to be a LONG night...

In other news: The "cool table" asked me to sit with them again today and since he wasn't in there, I sat with them! I did get to see him a couple of times today...aaaaahhhh

**These lyrics kind of reflect what I want to say to him
Now, I'm not like this,
I'm really kind of shy,
But I get this feeling
Whenever you walk by.
I don't want to down you,
I wanna make you high.
If you could see your way to me,
Come on and let me try.